Kellen Winslow, Kellen Winslow was arrested on Nov. 17 and formally charged on Dec. 30 for possession of a controlled substance”synthetic marijuana”but the police report from that incident, unearthed by NJ.com, adds some bizarre context to the incident. (Editor’s note: The details of the incident involving Winslow are explicit and might be offensive to some readers.)
The report indicates that police were responding to a call of a “black male in a black Cadillac Escalade in the parking lot pleasuring himself.” (The incident took place in a Target parking lot.)
More from the police report: “I approached the vehicle and observed the driver, later identified as Kellen Winslow Jr., slouched down in his seat moving around. Mr. Winslow then moved into an upright position in the seat as I came to the driver’s side window. I asked Mr. Winslow what he was doing in the parking lot and he advised he was looking for Boston Market and was lost.”
“While speaking with Mr. Winslow I observered many empty plastic containers of “Funky Monkey” in the pasenger seat and on the floor of the passenger side of the vehicle. The vehicle was very cluttered and there were also plastic bags of “Mr. Happy” scattered throughout the front seats. I observed Mr. Winslow wering dark colored sweatpants and two open containers of Vaseline on his center console, but his genitals were not exposed.”
When asked about the “Funky Monkey” and “Mr. Happy,” Winslow allegedly told officers the NFL does not drug test for the substance and he smokes it at his home.
In a later portion of the redacted police report, the person who originally called police added detail: “This detective spoke to [Redacted], who advised that a short time ago, she arrived in the parking lot of Target. She pulled into a parking space to the right of an EScalade and noticed a male sitting in the driver seat with the window open. As she exited her vehicle, she commented ot the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the male’s erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating.”