Fake And Funny Twitter Feeds, For as long as there’s been Twitter, there’s been fake twitter accounts. Who can resist the allure of drawing thousands of followers while simultaneously mocking a big-headed celebrity? Nobody. Not you and not your grandma.
Twitter’s gotten tougher on imposters over the years, but there’s still plenty of fake tweets to go around. Sure, these tweets aren’t posted by the people and organizations they lampoon, but laughter is a recognition of truth. So really, aren’t these accounts more real than real accounts?
No, they’re not.
Choice Tweet: “Shoes are just socks with erections.”
The recent uptick in mentions of Gary Busey in connection with Charlie Sheen’s meltdown shows the extent to which the actor’s name has become synonymous with “crazy”. We can’t really know what Gary Busey’s thinking all the time, but this classic account can help us imagine.
2. False Steve Jobs
Choice Tweet: “Just lost Angry Birds for the fifth time in a row. That’s it. Banning it from the App Store.”
This account parodies Steve Jobs, the cult-like figure at the helm of the Apple empire. Rumor has it that the feed’s author never changes clothes, so as to help emulate Jobs’ mental state.
3. Fake AP Stylebook
Choice Tweet: “The plural form of Batman is ‘Batmen.’ ‘Batmans’ is the present tense of the verb ‘to Batman.’”
The AP Stylebook is an essential guide to dictional, syntactical and punctuational standards for published writing. But it lacks detail on the issues that really matter in our new information age. Issues like, “is there a space in ‘sextape’?” (Answer: yes and no.) This Twitter alternative fills in the blanks.
4. Darth Vader
Choice Tweet: “Tomorrow’s Oprah spoiler: *I* am her father!”
Something about putting evil movie villains in real life situations always seems to soften them up. Oh, sure, they still think they’re being evil, but they just come off as cute and goofy. Like cats, sort of.
Choice Tweet: “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. And the question is, ‘How can pollination occur abiotically?’”
Do I really need to explain the benefits of following God on Twitter? Not only does he know everything, but morally speaking, reading these tweets can reduce your chances of going to hell by up to thirty-five percent. Like the Fake AP Stylebook, this feed updates a crusty old tome for modern life.
6. D.C. Reporter
Choice Tweet: “digging thru budget for an obscure but smart-sounding data point i can use in my question if i get called on at the presser”
It’s kind of a shame that tweets so brazenly absurd count as subtle when ribbing the chummy, clubbish, shallow Washington press pool. So, on the one hand, nobody’s asking the questions that really need to be asked to, y’know, protect our democracy and stuff. On the other hand, we can laugh about it!
7. Nick Nolte’s Mugshot
Choice Tweet: “Life lessons for the kids: stroke victims give terrible head.”
Although eccentric, veteran actor Nick Nolte has never publicly reached Busey-like levels of crazed self-destructiveness. That is, except for his 2002 DUI arrest in Malibu, and the mugshot that resulted – arguably the greatest celebrity mugshot of all time. This account follows the adventures of mugshot Nolte – an alternate reality Nolte who is always teetering on the brink of tragicomedy.
8. BP Public Relations
Choice Tweet: “The bad news- we’re being sued by the United States. The good news- they sue in dollars, not pounds.”
Following Britsh Petroleum’s massive environmental disaster in 2010, this fake PR account spent the summer mocking their lackluster response. The spill may be fading from our short 21st century attention spans, but this account’s continued sarcastic defense of BP reminds us that they’re still screwing us with half-assed clean-up efforts.
9. Samuel Johnson
Choice Tweet: “Perusing the Twitterment of Mister Charles SHEEN is the verbal Equivalent to prodding a Hornet’s Nest with one’s MEMBRUM”
Fake Twitter account for an 18th-century essayist and lexicographer*? Sure, why not! Dr. Johnson’s account mostly exists as a repository of funny-sounding old-timey language. Or as I like to call it, “gold”.
* Fancy word for person who writes dictionaries that I totally didn’t have to look up. Nope.
10. Fake MTA
Choice Tweet: “In order to increase service speeds, trains will no longer be making stops.”
For those who rely on New York City’s finicky transit system, this feed should provide some humorous catharsis. It also works as a kind of anthropomorphized tale of the state of the city, as trains take on the personalities of the neighborhoods and riders they serve. Also, a lot of G train jokes (It comes rarely!).